Only in my world…
Last Saturday was date night. We opted for a late dinner, so I chose a spot near my house.
I’m old-fashioned, but in this age of weirdos, I prefer to meet new dates at places rather than they know where I live. Anyway, I get dressed for my date in black pants, a flattering magenta shirt, and gold flats. On the way out the door, I grab my ski vest and a scarf.
Dinner is fun and we have great conversation and lots of laughs. The waiter is friendly and even goes out of his way to find me a chalice for my Stella. (I will only drink Stella from a chalice). The waiter came to the table later in the night and brought me a second chalice saying that my cupboard would look stupid with only one. He’s waited until his manager left to bring me the goods.
Love that I now have two Stella chalice. Thank you, Mr. Waiter.
So why is this story weird? Well, it’s not right now.
Monday rolls around and my friend Jonathan and I have agreed to meet for dinner as we’ve not hung out since before Christmas. We’re long overdue for some quality catch up time. I select the dinner spot and he the time. I arrive at the restaurant first to find that it is closed for dinner on Monday nights. Typical LT move, so I call Jonathan and suggest a place in the same neighborhood, and I even throw out McDonalds because of my faux pas. I also throw out Brixx. Brixx is the scene of Saturday’s date.
It turns out that Jonathan LOVES Brixx and hasn’t been there in a while so that’s where he wants to go. Rutrow…
Since I only wore the black pants, flattering magenta shirt and gold flats for less than two hours Saturday night, I put those same clothes on Monday night. Now I’m headed to Brixx in the SAME outfit as the one I wore two nights earlier and with a DIFFERENT man. Shit. Normally I have a sweater or jacket in the car, not tonight. Crap, nothing to change my look and not enough time to go home to change. Oh well…
Jonathan arrives first and is seated. I sit down and here comes our waiter…it is the SAME waiter from Saturday night. I’m in the same outfit, jacket and scarf. I’m with a different man. If he noticed or even remembered me, he did a great job of not blowing my (perceived) cover. If he did remember, I can only imagine what he was thinking.
So rarely do I go out and the one span of days that I have multiple engagements, I end up in the same outfit at the same place and with the same waiter and different men. This folks, is LT at her finest.
Where’s the rest of it?
A few people have asked “where is the rest” of the most recent blog. I will post. Part 2 tomorrow and Part 3 the following day. This really hurts, so I’m working in stages.
As always, Thank you for reading.
Dating 2, LT 1, Bottom of the 3rd
This will probably not come as a surprise to many of you, but I suck at relationships. I would probably fare better disarming a bomb or performing surgery on a chicken (I have made an incision with a laser on a chicken) than figuring out a relationship.
I realize that the beauty of a relationship is figuring it out together. Clearly, I lack the ability to select the best partner to figure out this great mystery. I can flirt with the best of them, an All-American in the sport, but I have the slightest clue if someone is flirting with me with genuine interest. You have to spell it out for me. I’m talking second grade note passing with the yes, no, or maybe boxes to check. I like you. Do you like me?
I met someone 18 months ago and there was an instant attraction. I felt a jolt of electricity when we talked and looked at one another. I understand jolts, so I knew we were into one another. It started as a few conversations, exchange of numbers and then he finally convinced me to go out for a drink. We had a great time and sparks flew.
He was gorgeous with a great smile and a beautiful muscular body. He was also kind, playful, smart and goofy. He liked my curvy hips (I despise them) and you could tell that he adored me and found my goofiness charming.
The first rendezvous turned into a second. I’m having fun, but my guard is definitely up. The first kiss was electric. Wow! I think I literally saw fireworks. If I close my eyes I can still feel the electricity from that first kiss.
He wanted to be my boyfriend and wanted to tell the world. I wasn’t ready for that for a myriad of reasons. I was still guarding my vulnerability. He didn’t understand and became frustrated. We muddled through it and continued to see one another.
The nights out became sleepovers. Months go by and we’re still seeing one another—dinner, movies, hanging out at his place, laughing, talking, watching television, just being and enjoying each other.
My walls were falling. The more time I spent with him, the more vulnerable I became. I was truly enjoying his company and getting to know him. Could the ice-cold heart be melting?
I am definitely falling. Who am I? This is crazy, scary, and exciting all at once. For the first time in a long time, I could see myself standing next to someone as a partner. The walls were tumbling down and now I’m all in. I’m ready to be in a committed relationship.
By this time, he’s now asked me to marry him three times. I did not find his request for marriage as genuine, but rather flippant, so I blew it off.
We had some philosophical issues and took some time away as summer vacation took us in different directions for a few weeks.
Then it rained…and then it poured…
So call me maybe?
Today I was craving a bagel and since I haven’t had one in more than four months, so I indulged. Panera’s cinnamon crunch bagel with plain reduced-fat cream cheese and a coffee…Delicious. Well, that’s not the important part of the story. I’m sitting at the dining room table eating and here comes Mr. Big with that sweet, curious little face. I know exactly what he wants. I slab some cream cheese on the back of my hand and the little guy begins to eat. So maybe he is spoiled. Perhaps goat cheese on a cracker is a bit much for a feline. Or maybe the fact that he gets a candle to blow out on his birthday is a wee overboard.
My brother always said that he was glad that I had the cat before having any children. Otherwise, no one would like my spoiled child. Apparently I do not know how to appropriately discipline or set boundaries (although I think I spank his hindquarters quite a bit). I think my children will be different, as I cannot tolerate an undisciplined child.
Speaking of children… According to my cousins, my maternal instinct is kicking in. (Don’t worry, future next boyfriend, I’m not ready to have a child any time soon, so you’re safe). Last week while visiting the family in Palm Beach, I showed my hand and had a maternal moment. I slept on the sofa in the living room while my cousin, her husband and baby slept in the bedroom. The next morning I did not hear my phone alarm that went off for thirty minutes before turning itself off—the same alarm that was a foot away from my head and has a annoying tone. What did wake me up that morning was Mia Anne saying, “Da-da,” “Daddy”; “Da-da,” “Daddy” from behind a closed door and more than twenty feet from me. Michelle and Steve found it hilarious that I, of ALL people, had this happen. Sigh.
I found this while cleaning out one of my purses and it made me sad.
I miss date nights and spending quality time with the guy. He used to cook me dinner, we had some great times hanging out, laughing, talking and just being while getting to know one another. After sixteen months of an on-again/off-again relationship, it’s finally over. I was in love, yet the timing wasn’t right. I wish things could have been different; I think that it could have been good. I’m still not ready to share that entire story yet. It’s too soon.
As the aforementioned cousin’s husband, Steve, so kindly brought to my attention, it was the longest I have ever dated a man. He is right, but he did not have to say it aloud. Prior to this most recent relationship, the longest duration was six months. I am a self-described nerd who feels like she can never date a guy for very long before he is either scared away by my job or my nerdiness (It’s ugly). In addition to being consumed by work, the fact that my work was with 100 or so college football players intimidates most. It also didn’t help that most of my friends are guys and going out with them on my quest to date is like bringing sand to the beach. I once read in some girlie magazine to ask your best male friend if he would ever marry you in order to get a pulse on why you are still single. I did. And thank you, Dwayne for your loving response, “No, because you treat men as if they are disposable.” That was at least eight years ago. I think that I have grown and matured since then and no longer feel the same way about men. Yes, I can’t lie, that is how I treated them. Perhaps I will ask him that question again. I’m back to the drawing board. One day that real man who isn’t intimidated will come along.
I told you yesterday that I was seething mad when I woke up and didn’t really know why. After some reflection, I realized that I am pissed off about my lack of employment at Miami and even more pissed off that I don’t know what I want to do when I grow up. You can’t accomplish anything without some effort, so after a 10-day job search hiatus, I put in some work today and sent off several. I also reached out to people in my network and even folks on the fringe (THANK YOU!) for advice and to let them know what I want to do (in so many words) and that I am looking.
People can’t help you if they don’t know you’re looking or what you’re looking for. I am always telling my interns that 90% of the jobs that they will get will be from whom they know and not what they know. Bottom line is ABN—Always Be Networking and then maintaining the relationships. Call on your network for support, advice, sounding boards, brainstorming, you just never know how valuable your resources are. I’m (usually) good at keeping in contact with my people whether a text messages to say hello, a note to congratulate them on an accomplishment, a phone call to catch up or an e-mail to say hi or ask for advice.
If you e-mailed me today and I replied, a copy of my resume was attached to the message whether you requested it or not. I’m thinking about offering my expertise/experience in college admissions to help high school students and parents with that process. I’m also available to help small businesses or companies with their social media needs. So call me maybe?
Three things for which I am grateful…
- The people in my network. Wow, I have some amazing people around me and I could not be luckier.
- Having options, although I am currently overwhelmed, I have options.
- My momma. Sorry I was curt on the phone this morning, Bee.
Today’s Awesome Read…